Pious of Shit: Rick Pino

It’s been said that you can effectively change any rock song into a religious song just by saying “Jesus” instead of “baby.” With that in mind, let’s look at exhibit A, which I think unequivocally proves the previous statement to be horseshit. It is insane to think that when the musicians had the meeting to discuss how they were going to alter the lyrics to make them more “Christian-appropriate” this is what they settled on. It seems like this is something that that idiot in the group suggests first, that everyone makes fun of and then a proper idea is brought up.

Either way, this video – recorded at the church Our Lady of Perpetual Bad Hair – is hilariously bad:

The thing I don’t understand is how this is appealing to anyone. It’s like they’ve made church into some sort of wholesome rave, without the drugs or sex and with weird creepy music (can you tell I’ve never been to a rave?). If they want to go to a rave then go to a rave and listen to the actual song. If you want to go to church and worship Jesus and whatever else then do that. The two are mutually exclusive. It’s like when vegetarians or vegans eat fake chicken. It’s cheating. If you want to eat chicken, eat chicken. If you don’t, then don’t.